random friday things.

happy friday, world!
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so, the classes that i'm taking this semester started this week which was nice. i'm overanalyzing things but also a little excited for what i'll be working on and to be back to school. i'm kind of just wasting time right now while i try to figure out where i want to transfer. ugh. living in the moment, right? who cares, right?? right? ;)
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i started watching the bachelor.... i used to watch this show way back in high school when it first came out and i got a wild idea to watch this season. and then i may have gone to amazon and bought a couple seasons to binge watch. i know, i know, not my proudest moments here people. is anyone else fascinated by the bachelor? like so many thoughts, so many thoughts!!
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it's been kind of  warm the past couple of weeks which was pretty lovely i must say. i've definitely taken advantage of all the end-of-winter sales to stock up on a few winter things that i need... okay want. seriously, there are some good clearance deals out there right now! even though i consider myself a warm weather kind of person, i kind of hated how the day after Christmas we started putting swimsuits and spring clothes out at work. it depresses me how our culture is always pushing and pushing for the next thing. it makes life extra exhausting.
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that photo up there? i was the photographer for my brother in law's wedding which was over a month ago and i haven't even started culling through the images. oh lord. also, i need a new external hard drive because i left mine on the train. ( true story ) does anyone have any good quality / low price suggestions for me??
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have a great weekend everyone! <3
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"monster mode"

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anyone who knows asher in real life will know how much sense the following photographs make: asher is such a unique child with the most peculiar habits, one being that he loves pretending he is a monster. it kind of started to battle moments when he felt shy or uneasy; if a stranger compliments him he will counter with jutting out those bottom teeth and growling. this happens often and makes everyone laugh. he also loves to chase roman and his friends while pretending to be a monster and on the playground he will waltz around in "monster mode" saying, "i want to scare everybody!" it's really quite hilarious and it's simply everything asher in it's entirety so i'm glad to capture and save a few memories of it here. <3

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boy style // FabKids

Roman with no arms... ;)

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     I really do love doing photoshoots with my boys and it's one of my favorite things in the world, but man is it hard to find that balance between fun and infuriating! 

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     I love the outfits that FabKids sent us for January, a perfect mix of neon / colorblock + stripes: my faves. I had a cute idea planned to use these fuzzy mustache stickers that I picked up at Old Navy for a photoshoot this month. The boys really had a lot of fun with them but I didn't get a lot of the side by side, sitting on the steps picture-perfect photos that I'd planned. It was more like a lot of dancing and tumbling around and the outtakes, I must say are absolutely hilarious. 

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     So there was a lot of frustration but also a lot of fun; the golden sun setting over the mountains was peaking over the railing just so and I ended up with these gems. All in all, we have a lot of fun doing "photoshoots" and my boys put up with me thankfully and give me so many pictures and moments tied with them to treasure for always.

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Recognize this shirt?

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Be sure to check out FabKids subscription clothing company
for kids: here and get 20% off your first purchase!

"owly".

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     i brought these little owl stuffed animals home from work for the boys last week. i hoped that they would love them so much with their sappy sweet little boy hearts - and they did. roman named his "owwy" and asher named his "owly" and they cared for them and played with them all day long. there isn't really anything else to add or more interesting to say here ... but i just love the big, full hearts that my boys have and i love sharing moments like this with them as their mom.

<3

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looking at pine trees upside down.

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most days feel painfully the same.
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then there are the days, where you discover something new - where you look at a snowy pine tree upside down and realize that it's really just made up of hundreds of circles.
there are some days where you start to see something from a different place, without the preconceived feelings you've been carrying around all your life.
and those are the days where it all maybe makes a little bit of sense.
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asher, from above.

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these photos have kind of a weird/distorted proportion thing going on, but i love how they show asher's  long, long, skinny fingers which is something i've noticed about him since he was a brand new baby. asher was so little and thin and long when he came into the world and that's still how i see him now. he just reminds me of a baby bird, all wobbly and bony and small. i always call asher my "teeny boy" and he adores it and now refers to himself that way to make me smile. he squints his eyes and pitches his voice way up high and says, "teeeeeeeeeeny boy!" it's adorable. 

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asher is going through an extreme mama-boy phase, which is really saying something considering that it's upping the ante on his years of mother-clinginess. this boy does not want me out of his sight, ever. to be honest, it can be super taxing on my paper thin patience. but there are sweet moments too, like yesterday in the bath where asher looks up to me and says, "why do you love me?" and i say, "you know why i love you," and he smiles and nods, "mmhm mmhm because i'm aaasher." 

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those are the moments that make me smile and feel the love that he needs from me and it makes me want to hold onto those long, skinny, teeny fingers forever.

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favorite posts of 2014.

( from a self-portrait project i for class last semester )

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I thought I would start posting here again once the new year started and here I am moseying into it. Blogging and photography wise, I feel like I made strides this year... at a snails pace, but still, strides. I turned down photography clients and instead kept picking away at my art degree. That was a great decision for me because it helped me to focus more on the fine art end of things instead of the wedding/portrait photography business side to photography which has always left me feeling a little stale. I've never taken a photography class in college and it was very eye opening for me to have other people discuss my photography and see what my "style" looks like from the outside.
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Blogging wise, I was thrilled to partner with some awesome brands as well as make a little money here and there which has been a huge goal for me, so that was fun. I still feel completely wishy/washy about what I want from blogging/photography and heck whether I want anything at all. Am I the only one who does this? I'm here and there in my mind about everything, all of the time.
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It's crazy how fast a year goes by and I spent a little time today browsing my own blog and remembering and re-remembering things and moments that have gone by quickly, yet slowly, and have somehow collaborated together to make up a whole year; 2014.

I put together a list of some of my favorite posts from the year. The posts I chose are based more on writing than photography. Maybe I'll compile some favorite photos as well because heck, what are things like New Years for other than a chance to make those fun posts of favorite things? I feel like I don't actually write enough anymore and I think it's because it's been too hard for me to formulate ideas and put them down during a very stressful year. Most of the posts in this list stemmed from The Mommy Blogger Collective that I participated in during 2014. I'm very thankful for that opportunity because it did push me to sort out and express my feelings, if only here and there, during an otherwise jumbled-thinking kind of year.
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Going forward this year, I'm not sure what my plan is. I'll daydream in ultra-organizational-mode about to-do lists and calendars. I'll plan for posting more and a new blog design and somehow organizing all of my artistic thoughts and feelings, putting them into place and figuring out what I want to do.
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But ultimately I probably won't follow through as planned and that's ok. I will write and I will take pictures and I'll share them here and there. I'll go to school this semester and focus on a photography project and make art. I'll work with a few brands. I'll be scatterbrained as usual, but I'll still be here, sharing pictures and words with you all.
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Happy new year, guys. Thanks for hanging around. ;)

++ thoughts on sleep

++ defined

++ mother's day

++ this boy

++ friday thoughts on motherhood

++ shine

++ on being creative

++ harvest

++ loss

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