dear roman.

dear roman,

please stay four forever.

love, mama

baby love.

baby face

baby feet

baby, baby love.

{asher michael}

five and a half months.

these are part of my attempt to take ashey's photos each month on one of two similar sheets that i have. i missed month four. i planned to take roman's monthly baby photos on a cream colored sheet but only got to month two:) i have so many photos from this day that i love, i think i'll have to post more another day...

pictures roman took.

real life conversation between roman and i:

me, "roman, do you want to be a photographer when you grow up?"

roman, "i AM a photographer."

there is something super special about photos that your four year old takes,

uninhibited and unplanned.

he isn't trying for any style, he isn't influenced by any photographers.

he just takes pictures exactly how he wants to and he loves it.

inspiring, no?

thanks for capturing these memories rome :)

2011.

2011

sick sick sick days of pregnancy.

my dream of having two little boys coming true.

a beautiful birth, a frighteningly long week at the hospital.

special moments at special places with aaron, my best friend of 11 years, my husband for 5.

moving to the country.

roman weaning at 3 years and 2 months, playing with his babies, talking to my tummy,

picking flowers for mama, becoming a brother, wanting to be just like dada – his “buddy”,

 becoming an artist, loving homeschool.

babywearing + breastfeeding.

growing asher, then watching asher grow.

(i'm pretty sure this is the ONLY photo i have of us as a whole family!)

almost five months.

a friend and i got together and did this fun photoshoot of asher,

one day before his five month birthday.

i bought this awesome blanket that i've had my eyes on at target for these photos and we used these great vintage toys. my dad always puts vintage toys under his christmas tree. they have all been in the family for years. these blocks were my papaw's when he was little. the old teddy bear was my dad's:) who knew back then, that someday little asher would be playing with them.

asher thinks he is such a big boy now.

he had his first ride in the front seat of the cart at walmart. he was smiling so big and looking so proud of himself. this morning we all randomly decided to go to bob evans, and for the first time asher sat in a high chair. he was so cheerful and loved sitting there by himself. he is so strong, he didn't even bonk his head on the highchair like we worried about :)

i fed him a little mashed up banana. this boy is dying to eat. everything.

he also sucked on a lemon. 

so yes, he is moving on to that next baby stage. wearing his six month clothes, sitting up on the bed playing with blocks and standing up in the exersaucer.

he's still that same boy he was his first week of life - smiley as ever, loving to watch my mouth as i sing.

i love this little person.

ten percent.

last night was filled with all these great dreams. i mean really, great dreams. i dreamed that i was fourteen again and hugging aaron goodbye at church camp. we slipped notes into each other's pockets. i felt filled with that girly feeling of falling in love. then it fast forwarded to a dream where asher was a newborn. he was wearing a little striped outfit and i was holding him, all curled up, in front of the window, and saying to myself in my head, "remember this moment. because the rest of your life you will miss this."

today i'm at the coffee shop with my boys while aaron works down the street. i really have everything i've ever wanted. the boy who i daydreamed of eleven years ago is now my husband. i have a little four year old artist boy. who says to me, "mama, would you like to go to the coffee shop with me today?" who brings his little bag of art supplies in with him. 

i have my teeny chubby roly poly baby, who i hoped and prayed for. who wears his brother's hand me downs. he smells like a cabbage patch baby and smiles without me even having to ask.

i wish i could always remind myself of this.

90 percent of my life feels like pure chaos. breastfeeding on the floor in front of the space heater in a freezing house. surrounded by a huge mess. piles of laundry that will get worn without ever being folded. exhausted with dirty hair. feeling like i can't accomplish anything.

yeah, that's about 90 percent of my life.

but i guess it's this,

watching roman light up when he sees the chalkboard wall in the bathroom at the coffee shop,

sipping a caramel iced coffee next to my sleeping little cherub baby asher,

this golden 10 percent is what keeps me going.
and reminds me that this is all i've ever wanted.

asher and i amidst the chaos.

more fall photos.

these photos of ash propped up on my legs ending up being my favorite that i got of him when i took the boys out for a little fall photoshoot.

mmm - missing that warm weather...

                                                  worn out from a little tummy time :)