Happy Birthday to Roman: My TEN Year Old!

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Can you even believe this tiny baby is TEN today? My heart can barely take it. It's gone by in a blink but at the same time it seems like an entire lifetime ago that I was 21 years old meeting my precious purple baby at 3:01 am on a cold winter Cincinnati night.

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This boy, my Roman, made me a mother 10 years ago. I always, always wanted to be a mom and Roman made all those years of playing with Cabbage Patch babies come to life for me. Roman's baby years were a dream, we spent almost every moment together and he became my entire world. 

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Ten years later, and Roman is still a dream of a child. He's good natured, kind, loving, compassionate and sentimental. He's sarcastic as hell (thanks to his parents) and definitely has a fly off the handle temper. He is the most passionate child I've ever seen and spends hours and hours practicing his sports moves in the living room.

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This has been one of the hardest years of Roman's life because one of his best friends was tragically killed in a place crash in September. I've had to watch this sweet, innocent boy venture into those dark places of life that you hope your child will never have to know. It's been hard but he's pushing through; we're pushing through together. The morning we found out he had passed, before I knew, I sensed a deep pressing feeling that I needed to be more for Roman. I had no idea that we would later find out Benny had died but now I know that they were related. That's what I've tried to do since that day, be more for this boy. We've done more arts and crafts and we got a pet cat that we adore. I've spent nights talking and crying with Roman about death and life. 

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10 years of motherhood and I'm still figuring it all out. It's a lot harder now than it was in those easier and simpler, sweet baby days. If I could give any wisdom and mothering advice after doing it for ten years, it would be: 

Laugh with your kids and allow them to bring out the child in you. 

Have dance parties and let them jump on the beds. 

Don't ever hold too tightly to your "parenting type" because I guarantee your views will ebb and flow.

Most importantly, tell your kids you love them everyday. Tell them multiple times a day. You can't ever tell someone you love them too much.

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Happy TENTH birthday Roman! I love you, moon....

xoxo,

Gillian

romey turns 9.

 

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words can't even touch how i feel about my first baby, roman, turing 9 years old today. when he was born, i was practically a baby myself and how lucky i am now to have grown through these years with him by my side. i call him "moon" and he calls me his "star" and it's a universe that i'm pretty damn proud to be a part of. 

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just some words i shared on instagram on roman's birthday 12/6 

during his birthday week i tearfully went through these old photos of him, thinking deeply about this beautiful boy and what he means to me.

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happy 9th birthday romey, i can't wait to see what another year brings. <3

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roman turns 8.

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Can hardly believe that this little ( BIG ) boy turned 8 in December. The time since he was born has gone by so quickly yet at the same time feels like an eternity. I can barely remember Roman as a newborn, Roman as a 2, 4 or 6 year old. Other than today, all the other days feel like a blur of memories swirling around somewhere high above me out of reach. There are millions of little moments that stick out in my head, playing back in my mind like clips from a movie. That's how I feel as a mother. Their story is playing out fiery quick as I to grab onto a few bits and beautiful pieces to play on repeat in my mind, trying to preserve some of the miracle that is happening right in front of my eyes.

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The sweetest you see in that photo above truly personifies Roman exactly. He is sweet and sentimental and wise beyond his years. He feels deeply and loves passionately and I couldn't be prouder or happier to call him mine.

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Last night we laid in bed together when I was putting him to sleep. 

He says, "I love you." 

I say, "I love you more." 

He says, "Don't get me started." 

I say, "I love you moon." 

and he says, "I love you star," just like he always has. 

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I'll finish this post here before I dip in too deep into that realm of loving my babies so much it hurts. Too late, I'm already there. <3

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Here's to the best 8th year for my sweetest boy. 

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portraits of roman.

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These pictures of Roman absolutely light up my heart. My seven year old, my "sweetest boy", my "star". I love this boy tremendously. I love when we stay up late to watch Cupcake Wars together. I love when he writes me a million little notes with "xoxo" at the end. That's it for today; I hope these photos bring a smile to your face as well. 

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Happy Friday!

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portraits of roman.

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My blog has been a little Asher heavy lately. It's natural because Asher is three and at an overall easier to photograph stage.  Roman, who is seven now, is going through a trying-to-be-funny in every photo stage. I mean, I can't blame him - he is a kid after all. As far as photographer-moms go, I'm pretty relaxed about the camera. I don't always have it and I'm very particular about when I bust it out. I try to read my kids and I try not to push it. I just couldn't handle being someone who always takes pictures, it would stress me out. In fact, I definitely need to relax a little more in this regard. I need to let the camera be a little more a part of me, a little more convenient.

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My passion is definitely photographing my children. I enjoy it more than photographing anything in the world. The pictures that I take of them are, of course, so meaningful, a part of me. I also love the laid back feel of photographing my children as opposed to "other people". Don't get me wrong, I enjoy photographing others - but it's more set up, it's a job. Photographing my boys is the purest way to make a photograph for me. They are themselves, I'm truly in the background, recording them as they are.

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But of course, it's not always just happening in front of me eyes. As many other mother/photographers know, there is that struggle of "oh, oh wait, wait wait, stand over here! smile! can i take one more? can you just do this-this-or that?" I know this is frustrating for kids. It is. It's certainly a lesson in patience because I love photography, I love photographing them, and ideas are going through my head and there are those moments I just want them to cooperate. Which of course, are the moments when they want nothing to do with it.

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Even though it can be frustrating, I think the fact that children don't always want to cooperate adds to what is so wonderful about photographing them. Any adult can model and pose and do exactly what you want in front of the camera. Of course there is also an added awkwardness + insecurity that adults feel when having their picture taken. But with kids, it's more pure and real. Yesterday, while we were taking some FabKids photos, Roman was goofing off a little of course but he also, knowing how much it would mean to me, looked into my camera with these wonderful little faces and I couldn't be happier how they turned out. Because, truly, even though these photos were directed in a way and didn't just happen, this is the boys he is - the absolute sweetest boy and these are the smiles he gives me after I say no and he knows that I'll give in, and it's way he looks in the last moments of night when I tuck the blanket up by his face and whisper, "You are the sweetest, sweetest boy," and he says, "thanks mom."

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These pictures were certainly worth the wait. :)
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