big brother.

it's been so tough watching roman go through the transition to becoming a big brother.  i actually didn't expect that it would be this hard. i thought i did everything right during my pregnancy. we involved roman every step of the way. we talked about our baby constantly. hours of conversation were shared between roman and my belly. but the past month and a half, roman has struggled a lot with the change. there has been much anger and acting out on his part.

i break inside thinking of roman now having to share his two best friends, aaron and i. having to grow up. learning to be more self-sufficient. all the while watching this little creature snuggle in HIS mama's arms. where just last year he still layed in to nurse. i know this is the way life goes. but it's too much for my heart to take thinking of these things.

i know roman will grow out of this stage. and soon he will be over the moon happy to have his own walking and talking little friend.

but oh to see his struggle, it's hard. and likewise it's hard for me; figuring out how to break my heart in two. to find enough of myself to give equally to these two little wonders God has given to me.